Be Outside

Baby Colt!

2009-05-08T10:32:00.000-07:00

Lunch Break

2009-04-29T15:26:00.000-07:00

oh my i cannot believe over 2 months have passed and i really haven't updated, posted a picture, nothin.

ironically, though the blog is about 'what's next', i have been working this past month on letting go of the future. no more pondering, daydreaming, visioning of what's next. no plotting, planning, or to-listing of what i will do next. no checking flights and airfare prices, no contacting schools and networking to people in places i am thinking of going next.

no next, just now.

now is on maui. now is working on the goat farm 5 days a week. now is multi-tasking 10 hours a day worth of cheesemaking and goat related tasks. now is going on a run, swimming in the ocean at sundown, doing pushups on my lunch break. now is breathing and doing affirmations. now is finding a way to be comfortable and grounded in the present moment.

now it's time to get back to work!

(more thoughts to come as i recommit to the blog experience...)

Keyboard Love

2009-02-17T18:53:00.000-08:00

Today I asked Brendan if he knew where I could go play a piano somewhere, and behold a keyboard was produced for me to jam on in the meantime. The meantime being this evening since I am off to my new home tomorrow morning...alas.

Here is the keyboard snuggled up to the rest of my lil setup:

REMIX!!!

2009-02-17T00:31:00.000-08:00

Recently I revisited an old blog that I haven't used for a few years now, and was reminded how I have so dropped the ball on this one.

I have many good excuses for this:

My camera broke.
Too much to tell, so little internet time. (note: this is a lie as the place i am currently staying offers very reliable, hi-speed internet)
I am shy?

Hmm.

No matter the excuse, an update is definitely in order.

Behold:

Jan 16 marked my last day at Hale Akua Garden Farm.

Oh, The Hot Tub & Sauna

(Complete w/ View of Haleakala Crater)

All Packed Up & Ready to Go

For 2.5 months, I worked 30+ hours a week on the farm in both sun and rain, attended weekly NVC meetings/training sessions, took free yoga classes (thank you shiva!), went on epic morning runs up the hana highway (personal best: 7.4 miles! from hale akua to the rainbow eucalyptus and back! thank you matt for being my running mentor!), made new friends that will be with me forever, had some of the funnest, most exciting dream come true moments in my life thus far (swimming with sea turtles, walking home in the dark every night thru a sentinel of toads and frogs, being outdoors working in the soil in the sun everyday, eating fresh avocadoes/oranges/tangelos/grapefruits/pomelos/lemons/limes/apple bananas/starfruit/coconuts/fresh ginger & turmeric from the land-not to mention all the food we grew for the farm)...like I said, too much to tell!

Top three words to describe my time there:

Awaken.
Burgeon.
Transform.

So where have I been since I left the farm?

I had the great fortune to stay with my friend Chris for 2 weeks, from Jan 16 - Feb 2. He lives about a mile east of Paia, which is my favorite town on Maui.

Then, just as my dear friend and witch sister Jackie arrived for a weeklong visit, I went to stay at another friend's (Amanda and Devin) house up in Makawao, where I am currently situated.

The goal has been to find work, and for the first two weeks away from the farm I was doing a bit of landscaping, and a few cleaning jobs (even going back to the farm to get some paid cleaning work, quite ironic as part of the motivation for leaving was to get paid work...), but ultimately I wanted to find paid farm or ranch work.

With the help of the folks I am staying with, they got me in the loop of job availability at Surfing Goat Farm where I had a job interview tonight! Oh, dear readers, manifestation comes so easy here on Maui, and indeed I have secured paid work that is somewhere between a farm and a ranch, a goat dairy farm!

I will commit to be an intern for 3 months at $5/hr for 40+ hours a week. Long, hard work days await me, and I CANT WAIT!

A Recap:

2.5 months at Hale Akua: check

1 month of 'figuring things out': check

Upcoming: 3 months of a paid internship at Surfing Goat Farm

After that: the great unknown. (though of course I have a few notions and ideas of whats to come, but sometimes you gotta keep those dream bubbles under wraps a bit, they are so delicate)

I know I mentioned manifestation comes easy here, but check this:

You may have noticed in an entry prior that I was feeling homesick for portland and queers.

So, I went & manifested myself a queer from Portland!

Introducing Sam:Sam is my new buddy, comrade and fellow adventurer here on Maui. I met her just after the new year, but have only in the past week and a half begun to fully experience her epicness.

"Mischievous"

I have slept out of doors the past couple nights and could not sleep properly for the cold. It gets very cold here at night! (cold for me anyways) So now I am off to sleep, warm and sound and satisfied, having caught up the blog and having shared a glimpse into my life here. It is a special one and I give thanks for it alllllll the time.

Good night to you dear reader. I hope you are well and warm wherever you are.

Xo,

Jenstar!

the magic of miniature

2009-02-08T00:22:00.000-08:00

I finally got my moment tonight to catch the most recent episode of BSG!

Only 6 more to go and then it is OVER forever.

Each episode so far, in this the final half of Season 4, has packed punch after punch of the best pow i have ever seen a TV show deliver.

While recovering from yet another powerful, jaw-dropping, tear jerking episode, I geeked out online and came acroos these pictures of handmade cardboard models by Dan McPharlin.

They deeply satisfy, soothe and calm me.

Analogue Miniature 7

Modular Marimba

What the Frak?!

2009-01-17T00:28:00.000-08:00

I can't believe I am missing BSG final episode screenings at the Baghdad.

(Dumbfounded Disbelief)

Seriously, I gotta find a pub on Maui that will rock the Bsg...

So say we all!

Holidays

2009-01-02T22:36:00.000-08:00

The rains have been torrential all over maui these past couple weeks, but we have found solace on the west side more than once. Xmas was no exception, as Chris, Matt, Jess, Kelsey & Billy and me ventured west for some holiday snorkel action!

Xmas on Maui, Carols on the Beach

(me, Jess, Kelsey)

It was my first time snorkeling, and Chris (see below) was a stellar guide. We swam with turtles! Have I mentioned that magic abounds on Maui?

(next on my list is to swim with the dolphins! and we are going on a group campout trip to Lanai next weekend to make this dream a reality!)

Matt, Chris & the Ginger Harvest

A couple weeks ago we dug up 2 big beds of Ginger that had been planted about a year ago. What a gift to dig up something that has been growing for so long, it was like digging up buried treasure!

Never have I seen more beautiful ginger, it is a buttery lemon color when you grate it, and sooo strong and potent!

Farmer's note:

Ginger has to be planted in trenches dug 2 feet deep as the roots grow skywards, neat huh?

Jess with Ginger Antlers

Avo Abounds Here at Hale Akua!

You know you are in paradise when you can walk out your back door and reach up with your fruit picker for one of dozens of plump, delicious avocados. If you're lucky you will find one on the ground already ripe, boom!

The Pool

I wish I had a picture of the new hot tub, but this will do for now. We live in ridiculous luxury, hot tubbing in our fancy hot tub, sweating it out in the sauna, and following it all up with a plunge in the pool for 'dolphin activation'.

Two words: Clothing Optional! Freedom!

Still lovin' the Hale Akua lifestyle, it just keeps evolving and presenting me with more and more magical experiences and incredible opportunities for growth, change and transformation.

2 weeks till BSG Season 4.5 Premiere!

2009-01-02T22:31:00.000-08:00

I will definitely be indoors for this one...

Memories!

2008-12-21T14:47:00.000-08:00

I have been meaning to post these short clips for some time.

They are from a hike up the Pipiwai trail in Kipahulu, which is past Hana.

We miss you, Thomas and Rose!

HOMESICK

2008-12-21T13:54:00.001-08:00

My Bike

Burgerville

Gina & Buddy

(aka Peeps, aka Pepe)

Pepe!

Jackie

Claire, Lauren, Me, Jackie, Sarah Jane

Sarah G.

Me & SFG

Lacy

Me, Lacy, Meg

Colleen

Richel

Niko

Lauren & Anouk Treats!

Lauren on Sauvie Island

Mischa

Beloved Companion to Shayne & Una

(I miss you too!)

I Miss:

1) My Friends, My Chosen Family

(including many not pictured here, i am missing you too and you know who you are!)

2) My Family of Origin

3) Oregon, The Pacific Northwest, The Forest

4) Winter Solitude, Hibernation

5) the Snow, I can't believe I am missing the best winter storm ever!

6) Queers, Queers, Queers

7) My Musical Instruments

& more!

Sat. Nov 29, Haleakala!

2008-12-06T15:09:00.000-08:00

Five Wwoofer's.

1 Rental Car.

11 miles of backcountry hiking.

Boom!

Haleakala National Park

Thomas, Matt & I 'moon' the crater.

Thomas, Rose, Me, Jess & Matt!

Matt getting fresh with Jess' bum. Classic.

Silversword and a sunny face!

Senior Portrait

The mist descends upon us at mile 5...6 miles to go!

Cold and weatherworn, seeking shelter in an outhouse, what!

Can you See the sky? Thomas agrees, Best sunset ever!

Thanksgiving!

2008-12-04T00:18:00.000-08:00

There were an infinite number of things to be thankful for on Thanksgiving, for example:

1) Sunny, bright blue 80 degree skies

2) Topless sunbathing poolside

3) Swimming!

4) Making a delicious turkey (with a lil help from my friends, thanks kelsey!)

5) Eating so much incredible food!

6) Hale Akua friends and fam!

and so much more!!!

Here is Ian carving the turkey, with Thomas leering in the background

(note the rays of sun hitting the turkey, like a gift from the Gods):

Kelsey and I diggin in!

The Feast!

(there are two more tables not in the picture with turkey and other traditional delights on one plus a whole table reserved for desserts!)

Chef gets dibs on a Leg!

(which upon biting into and realizing it was dark meat, chef returned it to the platter, whoops)

Look at all this food!!!

Grace Garden

2008-11-28T20:06:00.000-08:00

Stay Tuned for NEW Photos of Life on The Land

2008-11-28T19:41:00.000-08:00

i took photos with thomas's camera today, and will get to upload some later tonight i think...joy!

-itinerary for the weekend-

tonight

-paid work doing some house cleaning on the property, check!

-make desserts and spend time with everybody later on to celebrate kelsey's bday

-obtain and secure warm clothing for camping in the crater this weekend!

saturday

-departure for camp adventures: 7 am!

-hike in and all over the Hale Akala Crater

-camp out!

sunday

-not sure what, but most likely the following: more hiking + trip to lava beach + little beach dance party?

-final tea time/food making with everybody before Thomas, Rose, David and Jenny leave Monday morning forever!

the blog will be full of documented magic after such a weekend!

huzzah!

I'm Back...Almost

2008-11-25T17:48:00.000-08:00

I have a "new" keyboard and am back online!

I still have a broken camera though, so I will just try to steal photos from others, like this one of me and Rose dancing at the drum circle at Little Beach this last Sunday night:

I danced till it was dark, and as the fire dancers lit up the night, i kept right on dancing (with a short break of swimming in the ocean and body surfing-the water is so warm and glorious!)...amazing.

Below is another stolen photo, a moment with Thomas in the garden (was that really last week?)

Note: I am not looking very tan yet, but my back is...only my back seems to be reaping the sun benefits right now...

2008-11-15T17:18:00.000-08:00

until i muster the energy to spend more than 5 minutes on the computer, please check out a blog that will show you the farm i work at and all the wonderful people that i work with:

Thomas And Rose

my electronics are breaking down, from my keyboard issues to my dig cam having focus problems, so i am just going to go with it and take a break from technology. what better place to do it than here!

-j*

Julia ButterFly Hill!

2008-11-09T23:09:00.000-08:00

A Proper Post to come, my 's' key isn't working and it is frustrating me, and this post deserves quality time and intentional writing...lets just say you know you are in a special place when julia butterfly hill shows up to get some r and r...

She graciously joined 15 or more of us in the yoga room thursday night to have a converation of question and answer about her experience(s). she alo joined us for dinner after!
long story short: life changing encounter!

back row: havaya (max), me, julia!, thomas, rose, ian

front: mary claire, jessica, matt

Where I Sleep

2008-11-09T22:52:00.000-08:00

I now live at Hale Akua Garden Farm!

I live in community amongt 12 other Wwoofer's, not to mention all the staff. A wonderful team of people that are now my new dear friends!

This is where I live and share space with the glorious Mary Claire (photos to come!):

This is the part of the view from my backyard:

The other part of the view, when water is flowing, a waterfall can be seen!

Nov 2, Day 2 in Hawaii

2008-11-09T22:15:00.000-08:00

waikiki

hanauma bay

view from plane en route to maui: honolulu, waikiki, and hanauma bay

Arrival

2008-11-01T21:29:00.000-07:00

I made it to Honolulu.

It is all so surreal, and a good nights rest will hopefully be the key to me finding the present moment...

Points of Interest Thus Far:

1) Never have I been on a flight where collectively everyone was pretty much in a good mood. The anticipation and excitement of 'hawaii' reverberated throughout the flight...

2) I talked with an older gentleman during the shuttle ride from airport to hostel about God. He was telling me about Jesus and the Bible but not in an aggressive way that triggered my defenses, but in such a way I could listen with interest and understanding. I felt able to translate his ideas into my own perspective and beliefs, and feel somehow connected to him though I know he might not be able to relate to my take on God and my spirituality...

3) Also on this ride, I saw 3 rainbows!

Now I will put on my swim suit and head down to the beach even though its already dark out, i have to touch the water, even if its only a quick swim!

Swimming in tropical waters? A MUST!

I LOVE OCTOBER (sooooo much!)

2008-10-22T20:44:00.000-07:00

Lacy and I ventured to Sauvie Island and the famed Pumpkin Patch on October 11.

Here we are displaying our picks! (As well as our indecision...)

Little Red Riding Hood

2008-10-17T15:56:00.000-07:00

My favorite halloween costume from childhood, hands down, has to be

Little Red Riding Hood.

It was either first or second grade, and I even won some kind of class award for best costume...

Something about it all-the imagery, the archetypes- still fascinates and lures me...

I could intellectually explore this, perhaps by writing an essay utilizing feminist theory, or jungian psychology ..but I'd rather just keep Little Red in that safe, warm, cozy space in my Imagination where Magic and Mystery revel.

And for this coming Halloween, 20 years since I wore that winning cape, I will don a red hood once again.

Everything in my life right now is coming full circle.

Even a costume from childhood.

Even childhood.

VOTE!!!

2008-10-06T23:24:00.000-07:00

Get Acupuncture!

2008-10-01T20:53:00.000-07:00

Today I received an acupuncture treatment from my dear friend, Lindsay Buchanan, at Common Ground Wellness Center. (Above: There are two needles in my stomach, and one in the third eye area of my forehead)

It was a session that left me relaxed, yet grounded. Clear headed. Not TOO relaxed that I couldn't get myself home to walk the dog and cook some dinner. Back in my body, out of my head, b a l a n c e d.

Lindsay practices 5 element acupuncture which makes a lot of sense to me being a witchy woman and all. She is very gifted, not only brilliant in her knowledge of how to help you medically, but very intuitive, gentle, kind and intent.

A lot of times, an acupuncturist will stick you with a bunch of needles, and then leave you to rest for 10-20 minutes. But Lindsay works with your pulses, checking them multiple times between needling different points. She works on you until she feels like things have shifted, which she can feel for in your pulse.

I did get the chance to rest for a few minutes, as Lindsay left me with one needle in my brow chakra. While I lay there breathing deeply and meditating, I felt a distinct energetic shift. It was as though my energetic self was suddenly submerged under water, like laying in a shallow stream. Not unpleasant, mind you, but like being shifted back into the flow of things, a calm, watery current that I was once again tapped into, a part of, flowing with.

Already, I feel stronger, back in my sunny, optimistic mindset. Full of affirmations, ready to believe and hope for the best.

Acupuncture is one of my many tools that helps me realign with my higher self, and get clear so I can see my path, trust my gut! And I am so grateful to know such powerful healers here in Portland.

Now go get some acupuncture! Heal Thyself!

(Lindsay Buchanan * 503-680-1011)

Day 7: Elimination Diet

2008-09-29T07:57:00.001-07:00

This week has gotten progressively more challenging as another day passes, another day of NO:

gluten (wheat, rye, barley, oats, spelt, kamut...)

dairy

cane sugar

caffeine

corn

tomatoes

soy (tofu, miso, tempeh, braggs, tamari, soy sauce etc)

red meat/pork

Last night, as the day was ending and my tears were finally subsiding, I affirmed that it's better to put myself through these withdrawls right now while I am still somewhere familiar with Gina and friends to support me. Would I be able to do this diet on my own, all the way far away in a new, and different place?

I am eliminating all of the most common allergens, and after 21 days will start to add one allergen back in at a time, eating it with at least 2 of the three meals and testing myself for my body's reaction. I have been coping with digestive issues for too long, and its time I get to the bottom of it all. To truly listen to what my body is telling me, to build and regain my body's trust.

So I am a recovering sugar addict. A comfort food addict. An 'i want to eat whatever i want when i want' addict.

Being raised on coca-cola instead of water, packaged foods and canned corn/greenbeans instead of fresh vegetables, ice cream for dessert every night, it has taken its toll.

And now that I am finally taking my digestive issues seriously, knowing that even after this diet ends in a month or two, there will be foods I must avoid and forever eliminate, I realize:

I can never eat dinner at my parent's house again.

Below is a picture of my favorite breakfast last summer:

Porridge oats cooked with milk, maple syrup and chopped peaches, spelt/buckwheat/cornmeal buttermilk waffles (a recipe I adapted) w/ nutella and pb on top, one scrambled egg, and chopped banana. Out of the frame is a tea pot of Lyons (a black tea from Ireland).

Flower Essence Formulas

2008-09-24T11:25:00.000-07:00

These are (nearly) all of the different Flower Essence Formulas I have gone thru since starting my intuitive healing work with Shayne Case in January of 07. Since this picture has been taken(in august when I was packing up my stuff) I have gone thru 1-2 more as well!

It is comforting to me to have a physical object (these bottles) that in some way represents my inner work, which is so intangible and thus not easily seen or witnessed by others. Though to see what I have accomplished this year, is to notice something significant has definitely shifted for me:

In one year I have visited South America, Ireland, and in one month I will go to Hawaii where I will live for 6 months.
I am starting to perform and share the music that comes to me.
I am more grounded, I know how to create roots even when I'm on the move.

For me, flower essences are both subtle and earth-shaking. Its like they are this constant reminder of what you are working on, whether it be building confidence, trusting abundance, releasing grief or held anger. They both push and gently nudge, soothe and smart. A very complex, and integral part of my healing process at this point...

These are bottles of Blackberry Flower Essence. Shayne held a workshop on how to prepare flower essences on Oak Island on the Summer Solstice of this year. It was magical to say the least.

By the way: Happy Fall! Autumn is here, complete with crisp air, and the smells of fire places burning, apples and plums rotting on the sidewalk. I just checked the Sauvie Island

website, fyi: pumpkin harvest starts October 1!

Last Night At Reed College

2008-09-22T13:29:00.000-07:00

ready to go!
tropical fish face!

sarah settin up!

view from the stage while sarah was settin up

the ensemble (l to r): bob kendrick, jen agosta, jen k, anna oxygen

The ensemble played and improvised between speakers, and Sarah and I were also one of the musical interludes.

This was full circle for Sarah and I, as nearly a year ago, at last years TBA, I performed with her and her band, the Gay Deceivers. There are many, many more collaborations and performances to be had together, forsooth!

Tumblr!

2008-09-20T22:39:00.000-07:00

thank you to emily price for leading me to Tumblr, a blog site that you CAN post audio on!

now i have so many internet arenas to document and share the music from...

huahahaha...

check it out:

Enthusiasm

Olfactory

2008-09-20T22:19:00.000-07:00

Today I purchased some valve oil for my trumpet.

The valves were sticking, and I will be using it (my trumpet) tomorrow night during one of Sarah's songs.

Do you notice on the label of this valve oil that it says 'odorless'?

I was so bummed to discover this. I even unscrewed the cap just to be sure.

You see, the valve oil I remember from when I was a kid and first learning to play the trumpet, had this distinct smell that I find relaxing, nostalgic.

Yep.

Sigh.

On The Myspace...

2008-09-20T11:48:00.000-07:00

Be my one-woman choir's friend on the myspace!

Also:

Tomorrow night I will back Sarah G up on her amazing songs!

Info below:

Psychedelic Sprawl: Launching and Unfurling Suddenly

Sunday, September 21, 2008
Time:	7:00pm - 10:00pm
Location:	Reed College Student Union
Street:	3203 SE Woodstock Blvd
City/Town:	Portland, OR

Join us in the Reed Student Union for a book launch and exhibition celebration, presenting the book and art exhibition(s), suddenly. Live music, lively discourse, line reading, lime in your beer, Cryovac® food, and a high likelihood of spatial disorientation.

The Cooley Gallery will be open late, from 5 – 7 pm, before the evening unwinds.
The evening includes:
Welcome and opening remarks by exhibition curator Stephanie Snyder and Matthew Stadler, editor of the book.
Sam Lohmann, poet and contributor to the book, reading To Landscape.
Mostlanidan Citizens Katy Asher and Junior Ambassador, contributors to the exhibition, present the future of Mostlandian cartography.
Michael Damm, installation artist and contributor to the exhibition, in conversation with Stephanie Snyder.
Shawn Records, photographer and contributor to the exhibition, quizzed publicly by Matthew Stadler.
Anna Oxygen, Radio Sloan, Sarah Dougher, Bob Kendrick, Jen Agosta, Sarah Gottesdiener, and Jen Star—lively minds performing live music everywhere.
Zwischenspiel Puppet performance.
Michael Hebb sucks the air out of the dinner table.
Nicolas Wright brings his homobauen to campus.

Where We Live Now: an annotated reader, featuring the work of Thomas Sieverts, Saskia Sassen, Raymond Williams, Lisa Robertson, Sherman Alexie, Rem Koolhaas, Coll Thrush, Aaron Betsky, Stephanie Snyder, Karl Marx, and many others, available for sale at the party. $20

See you there!

My Very Own Tent!

2008-09-19T11:36:00.000-07:00

I bought my very own tent today! The first one I have ever owned! It even matches my backpack, I think:

What's Next, Jenstar?

2008-09-15T18:26:00.000-07:00

Hello! Welcome to a new blog by me, Jenstar!

(The photos above are by the Magical Sarah Wilmer. You must check out her site and all her dark, otherworldly, beautiful and enchanting images. Thank you Sarah for shooting me, it was/is such an honor!)

So here we are, a fresh blog, just in time for documenting upcoming adventures, as well as current tumultuous changes!

A Brief Update:
1) I bought my plane ticket to Hawaii yesterday! ***Nov 1, 08 - May 1, 09***
2) I have a "Band" Name: Jenstar And Her Aura.
3) I am house-sitting at various locations throughout pdx until my departure, along with staying with Gina, and possibly other friends
4)My 'stuff' is stored in my dear friend, Sarah G's Basement (thanks so much darling!)

More later!